I Hadn't Even Left Yet

Every day this week someone has asked me if I was excited for Friday, for the trip to start, and the answer was always the same, "No, I'll get excited when I'm on the plane in Atlanta."  It's been tough trying to deal with the honest emotions of two children who don't want you to leave.  I didn't realize that Sydney had been counting down the days till my departure and each day she became a little more sad, and little more teary, and a little more clingy.  Putting her to bed last night was hard, trying to convince her and myself that four weeks wouldn't be that long and that everyone would be fine.  As I left her room I had to pause a minute to pull myself together as I still had one more child to put to bed.

Tyler is a straight shooter, tells you what he thinks and how he feels.  The first time he said anything about my trip was Tuesday as he was getting ready to leave for soccer practice.  He opened the door, looked at me and said, "I don't want you to go," and before waiting for an answer he walked out the door.  Putting him to bed was met with a similar conversation, some tears, more mine then his, and a promise to Skype with him at 7 am his time Saturday.  Oh it better work out or he'll never forgive me, let alone forget.

I was surprised, this morning at how well everything went, no tears on their part at least.  We were expecting lots of tears and more pleading "not to go,"  but they put on their backpacks and got on the bus, never even asked for a ride to school.  I loved that.

As Randy drove me to the airport I tried to look out the window and think about what I would write on the blog about my leaving, BIG MISTAKE, to try and articulate the past twelve hours just made my guilt worse and my tears fall faster....that is until the phone rang.

It was Todd, my boss, calling.  How sweet of him to call me and wish me safe travels, which he did, and to tell me to enjoy the experience, which he did, but then he paused and said, "when you have a minute between connections can you send me some information....."  Nice!  I haven't even left yet and work is already calling.  I busted out laughing, it was perfect timing, brought me right out of my poor pity party, it was just what I needed.  I guess he forgot to read my memo about how I won't be doing my day job for thirty days, will have to resend him that.  Yes I'll get to it, right after I get the Skype working.

As I left Austin a smile did come over me as the plane was playing the latest song from Bruno Mars, When I Was Your Man.  This is a song that Sydney loves to sing and one I love to hear her sing and I could hear her voice and see her smile as she sings it to me in the car.  I haven't left yet, but we'll all be fine.